


Cornered

by DearLazerBunny



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 22:57:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17130287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearLazerBunny/pseuds/DearLazerBunny
Summary: Written for anon, who requested that Kylo hurt the reader and thus ensues a lengthy forgiveness. Anon, you didn’t specify what *kind* of hurt, so I filled in the blanks myself… hope you enjoy!





	Cornered

The day has been long and hard, and you can’t wait to just get back to your room and sleep. Working for Hux has never been a cakewalk exactly, and you do have to put up with his moods, but it’s the job you’re best suited for and you do a pretty damn good job, if you do say so yourself. It generally leaves you exhausted, though, making it hard to do… well, just about anything else other than work. You have some friends that you catch dinner with occasionally, but your strange hours and frequent sleep schedule often leave you eating alone at 2AM. It can get lonely, if you’re being honest. But you try to shove those feelings deep down as you slide open the door to your bunk and unlace your boots, preparing to fall into bed. Dwelling on those feelings wouldn’t help anyways.

Just as your head hits the pillow, there’s a knock on the door. You sigh and rub your eyes, desperately hoping it’s not a courier calling you back to Hux’s office.

“Can I help- Kylo! Hi!” Rather than a stormtrooper, your boyfriend of the tall, dark, and handsome kind steps into your room before removing his helmet. “What are you doing here?”

“I sensed you as you were walking home.” With his helmet on the ground at his side, he’s transformed into a terrifying Knight to the surprisingly sweet and sensitive boyfriend you know and love. You reach up and tuck a piece of hair behind his ears, which makes him smile faintly. You love that you’re one of the only people he feels comfortable enough to be himself around.  “You aren’t feeling well.”

You roll your eyes and sit on the edge of your mattress. “What have I told you about the whole mind reading thing, Kylo?” After a moment, he sits with you, and you lean into his side until he tucks an arm securely around your waist. “I’m fine, just… tired.”

“It’s less mind reading and more sensing your emotions. And I can’t exactly turn it off.” He kisses the top of your head. “I would sense you if you were on another planet completely.”

You yawn. “Handy if I ever get stranded on Hoth.” You shift your head, which is laid on his shoulder by this point, so you can see his face. “Will you stay with me? I know you’re probably busy, but…”

In one fluid movement, he’s got the both of you lying vertical, with you cradled into his side, arms around you. You muffle a shriek of delight as you practically fly through the air. It always amazes you how strong he is. “Perks of being a commander- if I want to disappear for a few hours, no one is going to question me.”

You snuggle down into the folds of his cape. “Lucky me,” you whisper, eyes already fluttering and about to drift off. Just before you fall asleep completely, you can feel him tuck the edges of his cape around you and kiss the very top of your ear so softly you wonder if you dreamt it.

…

The next day, you’re off running errands across base when you’re suddenly summoned back to Hux’s office. “Sir? You wanted to see me?”  
“Sit down, Y/N.” He gestures to a seat across from his desk. He seems uncharacteristically stern, so you sit cautiously, bracing yourself for whatever’s to come.

“Now then. Yesterday, at around 1800 hours, Commander Ren went, for lack of a better word, missing, for several hours.” He doesn’t glance up from the paperwork he’s filling out in front of him, but you can tell his attention is entirely on you. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“I…”  shit.  _Shitshitshit._ What are you supposed to say? “Should I know something about it? Sir?”

“It’s actually quite interesting. Because the past few months, all of the commander’s, ahem, disappearances have happened to almost always coincide with your breaks.”

At this point you’re having to physically stop your mouth from hanging open. You’re so busted. Would you get in trouble? Fired? Worse? “That’s… certainly interesting, sir.”

“Mm. Yes, I would say so.” He finally looks up at you, fingers steepled in front of his face. “And it’s certainly interesting that a stormtrooper reported seeing the commander enter your bunks at around 1600 hours yesterday.”

“Of course, he would have no valid reason to make a personal call on my assistant without my knowing,” he continued, “so naturally, I questioned him about it.” Hux pauses, then flips his digipad around to where you can see the screen. “I suggest you listen carefully.”

There’s a video pulled up on the screen. Hux and Kylo, in Hux’s office, clearly arguing about something. But once the audio kicks in, it’s clear they’re arguing about you.

“Are you sleeping with her?” Hux is obviously livid, his voice as fiery as his hair. “Defiling her? She’s one of our brightest officers, I don’t need you  _corrupting_ her-”

“Corrupt her?” Kylo shouts back, equally as heated. “Why should I care? About who, the girl? Some assistant I picked off the line to have a little fun with?” He smirks, and you feel your heart sink to the floor so fast you feel like falling with it. “She’s nothing, Hux. A piece of meat to serve my needs. You don’t have to worry about your precious assistant; I’ll be done with her soon enough.”

The video pauses, along with all your vital functions. You can’t blink, you can’t breathe. You just sit there, staring at the screen, Kylo’s words echoing in your head. Serve my needs. Done with her soon enough.

Hux calmly retrieves his digipad and leans back in his chair. “Now then. I trust these little disappearances of the commander’s will not be an issue anymore, yes?”

Tears sting at your eyes, but refuse to fall in front of your boss. “No, sir. They won’t be.”

“Excellent.” He nods once, curtly, and goes back to his paperwork. “You are dismissed.”

You’re a zombie as you walk back to your quarters, barely moving out of the way in time for other people to pass you in the corridors. A piece of meat to him. Nothing more. Is that… is that really what he thinks of you?

Have the past few months been the biggest mistake of your entire life?

Once you’re back in your room, you do something you’ve never done before- you open your mind up and scream Kylo’s name in your head as loud as you can, sure that will get his attention. Sure enough, a few minutes later there’s a banging on your door so loud you wince in your catatonic state. You open the door and he rushes in, saber drawn, clearly ready to fight off kidnappers or a rouge trooper. When all he sees is you, small and defeated, crying on the bed, he immediately waves the door closed and kneels in front of you. “Y/N? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

You close your eyes against the image of his face; his brown eyes so caring and his hair falling all over the place. “Hux knows.”

You hear him exhale, long and slow. “I know. He cornered me yesterday. But I think I threw him off, don’t worry.”

A tear slips down your cheek. “And how exactly did you do that?” You finally look into his eyes, unable to hold back the tidal wave of hurt anymore. “A piece of meat, Kylo? Is that really all I am to you?” You hold back a sob. “We haven’t even…” the tears finally begin to fall in earnest as you hunch over, unable to avoid collapsing.

Kylo’s face goes white, and his knuckles do the same as he slowly clenches his hands into fists. “What are you talking about.”

“He videoed you, Kylo!” You practically scream, even though he’s right in front of you. “Saying those awful things! About how you’ll be done with me? You picked me off the line to serve your needs?” You cry harder and faster. “Fuck you. Fuck you, Kylo Ren, and every single day I’ve spent on you since I met you.”

“No- no, Y/N, listen to me.” His voice is a little frantic. “I had to throw him off of our trail. If- if he knew we were together, he would take steps to destroy us.” He pauses. “Just like he’s doing now.”

“But shit, Kylo, you didn’t have to sound so sincere!”

“I meant none of that, Y/N. Not a single word. You are everything to me, and just saying it made me want to rip my heart out of my chest. To have to say those things about you broke me.”

“Except you didn’t have to say them,” you whisper. “You could have just avoided the question, or lied, or done a million things other than call me your slut.

“Y/N-”

“Get out,” you say quietly. “I don’t want to see you.”

“Please, Y/N-”

“I said  _get out_.”

He seems to sense your mind is made up, so he backs away, albeit reluctantly. And then he’s gone, back into the depths of base, while you lay your head down onto your pillow and cry.

…

The next few days- then weeks, then months- pass in a blur. You’ve isolated yourself from everyone not essential to your survival, and on the off times can usually be found laying in your bunk staring at the ceiling. Every moment you spend alone makes your heart pang, but you force it to shut up so often the pain has begun to fade to a dull numbness. You push all thoughts of Kylo Ren out of your head, only risking to remember him in the very dead of night when you’re sure he wouldn’t be listening. And even then the memories only make you cry.

He’s tried to contact you- notes, messages, messengers, even knocking on your door himself, but you never respond. You can’t. You can’t risk opening up that box and being used again like you had before. Never again, that’s what you promised yourself.

So you went on with your work, day after day, with nothing to break the monotony or the silence. A stormtrooper hands you papers for Hux and you go to deliver them, wandering the corridors checking various offices and conference rooms for him. Nowhere to be found. Eventually, you notice the cavernous space reserved only for meetings with the Supreme Leader is occupied. He must be in there. Normally you wouldn’t dare interrupt, but these papers were urgent.

You knock, but of course in the large hall he doesn’t hear you. So you risk opening the door a crack and listening in, waiting to find a good time to intervene. They seem to be discussing Kylo, and that makes your heart hurt, so you’re about to turn away, when a few choice words catch your ear.

“And the distraction has been eliminated?”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” Hux pauses, as if he’s searching for words. “We finally caught him visiting her room. Solid proof. So I interrogated him until he felt the need to try and trick me; make it seem as though the girl was nothing to him.” He continues in a tone that makes it seem like there’s a bad taste in his mouth. “He was obviously lying. He clearly… cared for her. But after showing her his rant she hasn’t contacted him in months.”

“Excellent. You have done well, General.”

“Thank you, Supreme Leader.”

You back away from the door, in shock. A set up. It was all a set up. Just like Kylo had said. And you hadn’t believed him.

You’d turned him away so many times he’d stopped trying.

Instantly, you’re running, dodging white armored men and maintenance trolleys as you race to the flight hangar. Despite yourself, you had been keeping up with Kylo’s schedule, and you knew that today he left on a mission of an undetermined length. You couldn’t let him leave without apologizing. Even… even if he didn’t accept it, it would haunt you until you did.

The hangar is vast, with pilots and mechs bustling every which way, and you quickly lose your way in the chaos. Only when you make your way to the middle of the room do you see Kylo in full regalia, preparing to board his TIE. Unable to stop yourself, you hear yourself shout “Commander!” At the top of your lungs. Everyone stops. Turns. Looks at you, small and uncertain, clutching papers in one hand. Kylo pauses with his back to you, clearly recognizing your voice, and obviously deciding whether or not to acknowledge you.

Finally, he does turn. His face is frustratingly impassive, and you hesitantly approach him, not able to meet his eyes. You hold out the papers in your hand. “I'm… important papers from the General. Sir.” Except on top are big bold words that spell out I’M SORRY.

He takes the papers from your hand and studies it for a few minutes. Then pretends to flip through the other papers in the stack as if they are actually important documents. Finally, he turns to a mechanic hovering uncertainly to the side and says, “My ship was not prepared correctly.”

“S- sir?” The mechanic goes white. “I assure you everything is operating under-”

“And I  _assure you_ that if you do not recheck every inch of this ship I will personally have your head.” With that, he stalks off towards his quarters. But before he does, you catch the emotion in his eyes. You’ve gotten his attention. Hurriedly, you nod to the mechanic and scamper off, taking a different route to his room so you won’t be following in his footsteps.

When you knock, he lets you in in an instant, obviously waiting for you. “What is this?” He holds up the paper with your apology dashed across it.

To your embarrassment, tears fill your eyes, and you wipe them harshly from your face. “Kylo- I heard Hux talking. To Snoke. About how… they set you up. To say those horrible things about me.” Your breath catches in your chest, and you let the rest of the words spill out and puddle onto the floor. “And I wanted to say that I’m sorry I didn’t believe you and I’m sorry I kicked you out and I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you and-”

He comes at you, and for a horrible moment he looks like he’s going to hit you, but instead he captures your face between his palms and bends over, giving you a heated kiss. That shuts you up, and you kiss him back in a heartbeat, weaving your fingers through his hair. God, you missed him. You missed him so much.

When you break away, you’re both panting, but not willing to leave each other’s space. His forehead rests on yours and you laugh breathlessly, unable to keep a smile from working its way across your face. “Well. Wasn’t exactly expecting that.”

You can feel his thumb gliding its way across your cheek, brushing away dried tears. “Y/N. I never- I never stopped hoping that-”

“-that I’d come back to you,” you whisper, finishing his sentence. “Kylo, I’m so sorry I ever left.”

He kisses you again, and for the first time in months, you feel like you’ve begun to breathe again. 


End file.
